A HEARTBREAKING WEEK

The thrill was gone, and now I only have two eyes to see and a heart to feel. It had been the most heartbreaking week ever. I thought I had experienced the worst things in my life, yet after I looked up somewhere, I just knew that they was just a piece of sand on the shore. They almost mean nothing. I started the week with a greater smile, then I ruined up everything with a very big deal, I ended up a Monday with a shouting to my parents like a dog barked to its owner. Who would have thought that hearing and seeing your parents quarreling along the night would relieve your feeling? I only say: pathetic. They just ruined my fabulous dream to flee somewhere. Even I thought a razor would end up everything but I failed to tear my veins apart, because I am no big tiger. Then I spent Tuesday on the road, a long trip to a city where the mountains and the beach are friends. On a duty, I tried to forget last night quarreling and they were just gone. Sadly, a terrible separation pushed me to a state of blaspheming myself. On a bus, where I was supposed to get a girl to reflect, I have missed that chance and I regretted that all around. Wednesday floated with remorse. Thursday I went to a town of dream, where my heart used to be stitched up, with a desperation and thousand hopeless thoughts. Friday, I fell fast asleep. Then, Saturday dumped me out with a heartbreaking story. I didn't know why, I didn't even fall with this girl but hearing such truth shocked me. This week's supposed to be the hardest days of my life, but when I woke up and realized; My time is billion times easier than anyone. I just knelt down and hoped everything is just a game, which I can always reset anytime I want. But they're not...

THE CURRENT ALLIGATOR'S BLOOD

Saya adalah seorang pria, dan saya tidak menerima kata 'lemah'. Saya bisa jadi sebuas serigala dan seberingassinga, namun saya lebih suka menjadi setenang alligator. membunuh tanpa melukai, hanya meremukkan tulangkemudian memangsa tampak sangat tepat untuk menggambarkan perasaan yang telah diinjeksi dengan banyakpenyesalan. Saya rasa sebaiknya saya jangan menyesal, ketika saya melakukan sebuah kesalahan selayaknyamenghancurkan sebuah tulang, lebih baik saya tidak berhenti karena penyesalan dan kemudian melanjutkanpembunuhan saya, baru setelahnya saya berjanji tidak akan mengulangi kesalahan yang sama. Saya lebih baik jadipembunuh daripada jadi yang terbunuh; saya lebih baik menekan pelatuk lebih dahulu daripada harus melihat otaksaya menghiasi dinding, tertembak senapan musuh. Kamu, walaupun saya mengagumi kamu, bukan berarti kamubukan musuh saya, bisa saja kamu melemahkan dan menusuk saya hingga mati. Saya tahu kamu tidak suka, tapicengkeraman saya bisa lebih kuat dan dalam. Setelah kamu, masih banyak lagi korban yang akan saya mangsa. saya tidak peduli orang berkata saya berdarah aligator. Itulah identitas saya yang baru.

I am a man, and I do not accept the word 'weak'. I can be as wild as wolves and as violent as lions, but I prefer to be as calm as alligators. Kill without wounding, only cracking bones and then preying seemed very appropriate to describe the feelings that have been injected with much regret. I guess I should not be sorry, when I make a mistake like ruining a bone, I'd better not stop because of remorse and then keep my assassination going on, just after I promised not to repeat the same mistakes. I'd rather be a murderer than be the murdered; I'd better hit the trigger first rather than having to see my brain adorn the walls, shot by he enemies' guns. You, although I admire you, does not mean you're not my enemy, you can just weaken and stab me to death. I know you do not like, but I can grip more powerful and deep upon your skins. After you, there are many more victims who will be my prey. I do not care people say I have the alligator's blood. That's what my new identity insisted.

LOVE IS A SELFISH THING #1

Sometimes I wake up from my sleep just to think why you do such murder to me. I just don't know why this can be so unfair; I take the red rose from the cemetery just for you, I sing through the rain only for you. Yet, you are still on mind, so far away from reality. If someday I know why, please tell me the sharpest thought or I won't understand. By that time, I will know why this feeling stands.

-Sorry I just want to mention your name.