A NAME. WHAT'S IT TO YA? WHAT'S IT TO ME?

"Yah, there's a name in my life I can't ne'er forget," a drunkard murmured to a bartender, "Yes, a name."
The bartender poured some rum to that pathetic man's glass, while the drunkard continued, "A name. You see? Your life is about that name. You can't ne'er find anything but about that name. What's this?" He drank.
"That name. Hey man, tell me," said the drunkard to the bartender, "What's it to ya? What's that name to yer life?" he seemed dissatisfied, "What's it to me? They're gone. Gone astray"
The fucked up bartender then asked, "Well Sir, may I know the name?"
The drunkard laughed, loading himself with disdain, then he took a bottle.
"Empress"

The drunkard became a cold red wasted body then.

A Short Short Story

Well, I woke up in a morning and I found myself the only person who uses no BlackBerry. I went outside. Coincidentally, i saw a huge tidal waves swept the ground from the very shore heading to me. I screamed but nobody listen; I screamed again but everyone's louder on their mind. Til now, that tidal waves still encompass us, and still nobody realizes.

LOVEISASELFISHTHING #2

you are the lights that every eye needs when the darkness prevails and endless shut approaches

you are the water of the ocean that encompassed me as an iceberg without let it melt with the sun

you are not Juliet who prefers to die for Romeo, but you're running away with Balthazar the messenger

you are not those heart stitched to one thing, yours is big enough for two

you are the page of my bible that says things to condolence me

you are the one who can make me feel like Lazarus waking up from my endless sleep called dead

you'd rather steal an apple from Eden than let me dying of emptiness beyond

you erect my cross and nail me to the everybody's crucifix forever and put it right away

you wash my face with olive like i were dead in catasthrophe of you

you burn every one's eyes and pretend to not know me but you do, you do not know me

you are the orchid with web of the spiders tie you down and i can't do anything

you painted me on the 'maddona of the rocks' and you promised me like Mary promised to Elizabeth

you open my eyes that i'd better off dead than dreaming all over

HIGH AND DRY

/haɪ ən draɪ/

Abandoned; isolated. Just like Radiohead’s song. It feels like being marooned in an empty island by your shipmates while they set sail to roam the seven seas. It’s a state where nobody understands thing you think. And feeling that way leads somebody to desperation, depression, hallucination, delusion, and suicide eventually.

ALIEN

I'm not talking about those creatures from outer space. I believe and I realize that they do really exist but we just don't see their existence. Let 'em be what they are.

Being alien.
Becoming stranger for everyone and even to myself; becoming a foreign man in my hometown; becoming enemy of everything that is different; becoming different thru all-same life.
Everyone doesn't know what I intend to say; nobody gets what the point of me waiting; everybody gets everything I never have; nobody thinks the same way as I do.
Loving things people hate; hating things people expect even it kills em softly; loving things that people don't know how to love it; and hating things people don't know to hate.
Away from fashion that is in vogue; away from the zone people think they deserve; away from thought of loving God in everyone's way; away from compassion people usually show.
Indifference; I am different from the citizen of the world, and I become an alien for em. Or they're all aliens?

PETER PARKER'S CHRONICLE #1

reflecting on Spiderman movie (2002)

Uncle Ben told me, from great powers come great responsibilities. Yeah, this is my gift, this is my cure; Who am I? I am Spiderman.
So what? There's no happy ending for me. All the things that I have done are just a simple part of my lifeless hope (or hopeless life?). The movie of my life should not have been like this. This movie never sounds so much better since then the auburn, Mary Jane Watson came to my life. She is completely gorgeous. A drop dead gorgeous one who comes from a drop dead gorgeous situation.
I am a photographer of the universe. Yet, MJ has stolen my universe. I am forced to watch MJ every single minute, admiring Harry Osborn's lover in every single drop of sweat, adoring her owned delicacy in every single blow.
I definitely know, the good ending won't be coming down now. But until that day, I'm not gonna stand and wait. I'll swing my webs and jump, I'm gonna move anywhere I like.
Who am I now? I am (still) Spiderman.

THE BLOODLINER

Siapa bilang ras kamu paling sempurna? Hitler? Dia mati menyedihkan bersama pemikiran dangkal itu dan Jerman ditinggalkannya kalah memalukan dalam Perang Dunia kedua. Ras kamu hanyalah kumpulan orang arogan yang mengklaim diri eksklusif dan secara terselubung ingin menguasai dunia seperti Free Mason. Pikiran kamu yang masih menuhankan ras adalah pemikiran yang paling kuno yang pernah ada, pemikiran orang pra-Tuhan, yang belum kenal Tuhan. Tuhan saja tidak pernah membatasi kita menjalin hubungan dengan warga dunia; pemikiran mu penuh batasan tentang ini dan tentang itu. Kamu pikir kamu Merovingian? Jika iya, apakah benar Yesus memiliki garis keturunan? Lihat, manusia semua datang dari Adam dan Hawa. Masih belum percaya? Kita dari satu sup primordial, iya kan? Perbedaan fisik dan sifat dasar ras itu dipengaruhi alam. Coba alam kita seragam, apakah kita berbeda fisiknya? Tidak. Mereka berbulu lebat karena hidup di tempat yang dingin; mereka bermelanin banyak karena cahaya matahari banyak di sana; mereka bermata lebar karena tidak hidup di tempat berdebu yang anginnya bertiup kencang. Semua itu efek geografi. Lalu apa yang membuatmu spesial? Apakah kamu keturunan ‘anak-anak Tuhan’ dalam kitab kejadian? Iya, kita semua keturunannya. Ingat air bah yang menenggelamkan isi bumi, siapakah yang tersisa? Keluarga Nuh, keturunan anak Tuhan. Lantas apa hak kamu membatasi percampuran ras? Orang seperti kamu tidak akan bisa bertahan di dunia liar ini. Ikutlah denganku, tinggalkan ras kamu, bergabunglah. Siapkan dirimu untuk ras baru yang tak akan pernah sempurna namun selalu di garis yang berbeda, garis keturunanku.

---

Who says yours is the most perfect race? Hitler? He died sadly with his shallow thought and Germany was left with an embarrassing loss in the World War II. Your race is just a number of arrogant people who claimed themselves exclusive and silently have a plan to dominate the world like the Free Masons. Your thought , which still worships your race, is the most ancient idea ever, the thought of pre-divine people, who did not know God. God alone never limit our relationship with citizens of the world; you restrict this and that. Do you think you are Merovingian? If so, is it true that Jesus had a lineage? See, people all come from Adam and Eve. Still not believing? We're from a primordial soup, right? Physical differences and the characters of the race was influenced by nature. If only we had the same nature, would we be different physically? No. They are bushy because living in a cool place; they have high amount of melanine because a lot of sunlight there; they're wide-eyed because they don't live in dusty land, in which the wind blows too often. those are the effects of geography. Then what makes you special? Are you descendants of 'the children of God' in Genesis? Yes, we are all their descendants. Remember the flood that drowned the earth, who is left? Noah's family, descendants of God's children. So what's your right to prohibit inter-race relation? People like you won't be able to survive in this wild world. Come with me, leave your race, join me. Brace yourself for a new race that will never be perfect, but always in a different line, my bloodline.

Listen

Read phonetically

BIG BROTHER-HOOD

Big Brother atau Big Bro adalah sebuah istilah teranyar yang sedang terkenal di kampus saya untuk menggambarkan seorang teman yang menjadi korban atau pelaku dari affair (artinya masing-masing dari mereka sedang atau pernah terlibat konflik). Yang membuat istilah ini pahit adalah kenyataan bahwa konflik tersebut adalah konflik yang disebabkan oleh perempuan; terdengar kekanak-kanakan memang, tapi berusia 20 tahun dan tidak mengalami hal seperti itu adalah wujud kehampaan yang nyata.

Istilah Big Bro sendiri diadaptasi dari sebuah reality show di sebuah saluran TV tentang sekelompok orang yang ‘saling membunuh’ untuk kemenangan; tapi istilah ini nyaris tidak berhubungan dengan acara tersebut, ini hanyalah istilah pinjaman yang pada awalnya digunakan untuk menggambarkan sebuah konflik psikis berkepanjangan antara dua orang teman di kampusku yang berbadan besar. Itulah awal dari istilah Big Bro.

Sekarang istilah ini mengalami perluasan makna tanpa meninggalkan makna awalnya. Kini setiap anak lelaki yang pernah berhubungan dengan seorang perempuan yang pernah memiliki rekor dengan lelaki lain yang saling kenal pun disebut Big Bro. Karena itu kejadian seperti mendekati perempuan idaman teman, berhubungan dengan mantan pacar teman, bahkan kejadian klasik seperti backstabbing dan homewrecking bisa menjadikan seorang teman Big Brother temannya.

Kisah Big Brother-hood sebenarnya adalah kejadian yang sangat sinematis dan mendunia.

Coba lihat kisah antara Peter Parker, Mary Jane Watson, dan Harry Osborn dalam Spiderman; sangat orisinil.

Coba lihat juga kisah perseteruan antara Bruce Wayne dan Harvey Dent dalam The Dark Knight; sangat natural.

Lalu, apakah jahat menjadi seorang Big Brother? Tidak, itu menambah warna dalam pertemanan kita. Yang disebut jahat adalah menjelek-jelekkan Big Bro-nya di belakang dan secara tidak professional membawa masalah tersebut menjadi masalah social yang luas.

HAIL BIG BROTHER!

---

Big Brother or Big Bro is the latest term that is in vogue in my college to describe a friend who becomes a victim or perpetrator of an affair (meaning to say that each of them is or have been involved in a conflict). What makes this term bitter is the fact that such conflict is caused by girl; it sounds childish indeed, but living for 20 years and haven’t experienced such thing is a real void.


The ‘Big Bro’ term itself was adapted from a reality show on a TV channel about a group of people who 'kill each other' to win. Yet, the term is hardly associated with that show; this is just a borrowed term which was originally used to describe a prolonged psychiatric conflict between two big mates in my college. That was the beginning of such term.


Now this term has expanded the meaning without leaving the first. Today, every boy who ever dealt with a girl who has had a record with another boy who knew each other was called the Big Bro. Because of that, incident as approaching friend’s lover, having in touch with friend’s ex-girlfriend, even the classic incident such as backstabbing and home wrecking can make a friend his Big Brother.


Big Brother-hood tale is actually a very cinematic and worldwide story. Behold the story between Peter Parker, Mary Jane Watson in Spiderman and Harry Osborn; very original. Then look at the story of a feud between Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight; very natural.

Then, if is it cruel to become a Big Brother? No, it adds colors in our friendship. The so-called evil is bad-mouthing his Big Bro in the back and cowardly bringing that issue into a broader social problem.
HAIL BIG BROTHER!