December

Something i expected for the whole year finally comes. Kneeling, I thank God for this.
I cannot wait patiently for the Christmas, for the New Year's Eve.
I want to play back the re-run of my last year.
I want to end this year with a happy ending and start the following year.
I know December is always great for me.
Yes, you are the reason for this December.

Quote of November

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

John Keating - Dead Poets Society (1989)

TAKE YOUR GUN SON!

(This is based on a lecture I gave to Yohanes Ayon)

Son, you know there are so many antlers in our front yard. Do you see 'em? Yes, you see. Son, point the best antlers that you want to own. Yes, you're doing right. Make sure you choose one of them that match you best. Have you? Alright, now prepare yourself. Dress up now! Follow me son. Since you have found yor target, now take your gun, load it fully with those bullets. Take any gun you want, you can pick that revolver or that auto-machinegun. That's your call son. You don't want those guns? Then which gun do you need? Sorry, I don't own such gun. And, but I know something, a truth you need to know. Son, even if you don't know, it's a truth that every man has a revolver inside their mind. Yes, an old legendary revolver. It has only a bullet randomly loaded inside the gun. Think carefully, optimalize the work of your senses, believe in your feeling, then pull the trigger on the right time. Ready for that? Good guy. Now follow me, we'll go by the path just behind our hut. The road is round and there are a lot of thorny plants. Be careful. Son, don't go that fast you might be slipped on that cliff. See a bottomless pit is waiting for you if you don't focus on what you want. Okay, just after we jump cross this fence, we will reach the place with a better view for you to shoot. Good job. Take a look at that, there are so many antlers. Do you remember which one do you desired? Nice. Now from this place, take the gun from your mind. We will start our hunting. We are the hunter. We are the men who know where the bullets are going. Yes, outstanding gun. Aim your target now. Take a deep look at your target, investigate the way your target behaves, study the movement, excersize the act. Get a better view? You can't aim your target? Your target unpredictably moves around, then you have to get closer to get a closer view. That's not enough? Okay, move a bit closer son. We are pretty close to your target, you will get a better shot. From this distance, you can aim your target easier, your vision is narrowed. But son please be more sensitive. There are so many other hunters around you. They can probably shoot you before you shoot your target. Or maybe the other target will shoot and steal your target. Focus! Aim in that way, good. The target son. Use your feeling. Get you random bullet and shoot it right on your target's body. Feel that son.

Good shoot. Feel and listen to the noise of your gun. Look at your bullet, it slowmotionly rush through the air. Feel it pierce your target's body and shattered everything. As soon as your target collapses, immediately go and get that target. Feel your glory, feel your pride. I will be so proud of you. Make sure you take the target and carry that away. Keep the antler for a whole life. You won't regret for listening to me son. Now, that's your call. Again.

The Finest November Lullaby

CIRCA SURVIVE - IN THE MORNING AND AMAZING...

click here to download the song


Infinite silence
flowing right in with the dawn
This is wrong, this is wrong
And I cannot sleep without the radio on

And how could anyone
You are in my dreams
Half human, half machine
You with someone else that I have felt and seen
I cannot rest, or my consciousness contest
Looking right through the lens
From winter brings the spring again

Infinite silence
flowing right in with the dawn
This is wrong, this is wrong
And I cannot sleep without the radio on

And we fall asleep again with ties to mend
So please let the cleaning begin with evolution

Hold my breath 'til communication is
Only just a test
Hold my breath 'til communication is
Only just a test
Hold my breath 'til communication is
Only just a test

You are in my dreams
Half human, half machine
Looking right through the lens
From winter brings the spring again

Infinite silence
flowing right in with the dawn
This is wrong, this is wrong
And I cannot sleep without the radio on

Infinite silence
flowing right in with the dawn
This is wrong, this is wrong
And I cannot sleep without the radio


(sometimes we need to pray for a bad dream to remind us that everything cannot always be right and fortunately it happens only in our dreams. bad dream is not always a nightmare, it is a good gift)

The Party Crashers

And they think they're good as pure as silk. They think they're cold as freezing as fridge.
Those who have head dance like a thousand scavengers.
I am singing the song of victory for those who can survive from the so-called broken heart storm.
We are single. They are not. And home-wrecking is the only sound.
You and I take the gun of jealousy. With knives stabbed on the back.
We're dancing. We grasp for air. We move like a leopard. Hungry.
Look at the boys! Look at the girls! Look at me!
Dance till the end of forever. Dance like everyday is Saturday.
Or Satire Day?
All year long!
Tomorrow is Christmas. Next week is New Year's Eve.
Don't go back home. Party doesn't seem to end.

Got Problem with A Knife Man?

friendship is a sensitive thing. if only all friends do like what Paskalis does, friendship will be a cute thing.
you don't need to blame one another. all you need to do is throwing joke to yr friend.
friend will never kick friend. friend stabs friend.
it's okay to stab yr own friend. stabbing isn't outlawed man!
i would better be a stabber than be the one stabbed.
if yr friend doesn't understand about yr joke. take yr gun take yr razor.
cut 'em like meatloaf. shoot 'em like hyena.
we are wild in this wild world.
got problem?

MIDTERMINATOR!

i have two weeks on this October: a week to glance over and the other to look perfectly.
i have two Sundays and two of the other days.
i have to review all of the story i have read the book i have eaten and the journal i have licked.
they taste like barbecue with sweet grill and hot peas.
hot and hot and hot. do you see the same hots? yes of course
do you see 3 different hots? just say yes
hot just like the taste of Tabasco.
hot just like the temperature in Mexico desert.
hot just like Katy Perry.
yes they are. from dusk until dawn said the elders.
i have a rosary given by someone and fortunately it has super similarities with someone's.
but i won't walk a millimeter before someone jump over the bridge. because i just don't want to be called as a home-wrecker.
i have to submit 2 assignments as i have to do 7 tests around that 2 weeks.
for i know a universe when everything i do is always right.

The September Break

remember. september is forever for me. i don't want my september to end so soon; i need september for at least 3 years. i don't want to be in a november. a month of death. memory about november is rot.
i need a long september. a long and long and long september.
i need to go to Pizza Hut and enjoy some foods there. i need to talk to someone there.
i need to reveal my own secrets and write a book about all my secret.
i need to convert my diary into zombie stories. i need everything by my side is well.
i need to go to Solo and find something there. where i can move anywhere.
i need to listen to Mocca for the whole year. i need.
if only. i need to wreck someone else' house and feel no guilty.
i need to write some posts and i need someone to read them.

come on!

THE SPINE OFF!

begin from September, i am gonna write a bunch of notes from a zombie outbreak survivor on my mind. the story is mostly influenced by my own experienced. it means that i am gonna write my diary into this blog by using a weird concept. that won't be that explicit. you can't get what i mean if you do not recall the stories as vivid as possible on your mind. the zombie will retake my world. so be prepare!

p.s: i am inspired and inspirited by this song. credits for The Devil Wears Prada



regards,

paskalis damar aji kurnia

say that from kay to the e to the see to the you.

i am a broken pieces. riding the wind of hopeless hope.
i am expecting something i cannot reach for now. i wanna drink the water from bloody rain.
a plain. hidden behind a rock axe. stand a hill as white as the cloud.
i am an anglophile writer, stuck on a hallelujah song. thousands of hallelujah songs.
but they're not singing for me. but for themselves.
i am overrated. running nowhere but i cannot. i am a zombie. i have no ability to run. i can walk but not run.
i crawl along the desert. finding fire but the only thing i find is water.
you did not deceive me. yet i deceive myself. pretending to be a human.
but actually i am a creature. i am infected. i eat brains. i eat flesh. i am contagious.
i can be hardly bleeding but i will not die without yo.
without you, shooting me right on my head. just like what you have done hours ago.
i am gonna crying but i cannot. my tears are dried. i am zombie.
zombie has no right to cry. even on my dream i cannot cry.
why? you have put a tombstone on my yard. you carve my name.
d'you think i am dead? no! here i am. as alive as the rotten walk.
i am not dead. i am immortal. i live forever to scratch this pain on my back. forever after.
and you don't know. and you tend to be deaf rather than listen to me.
i can speak a word but your name. your name on terrible way. you are responsible.
responsible of this outbreak. i am infected.
i am looking for you. i am going to revenge myself. i don't care.
you are my target. you have sent me this loneliness.
and now i am trapped inside this solitude.
tyrant. megalomaniac. your flesh is forever mine.
i am contagious.

080810. about 10.

unintentionally. i still feel:
the taste of your pinches. the cold of the breeze. the bitter of the situation.
the scent of your tees. the mole on your face. the sticker on the board.
the touch of your skin. the...
we made. unintentionally. m pardon me.
if only you could look through my ADHD and reach my solar plexus.
it is yours :) unintentionally.

POWER TO PAIN review!

POWER TO PAIN
Sunday, August 8, 2010
venue: El Pueblo Cafe, Yogyakarta ID
organizer: Joko Anselmo and Roxx Organizer


actually, i came to the venue at 2 p.m when the show had been rolling for 2 hours at least. when i arrived to the venue, the stage was empty. there's a vacant schedule. i met my friends from revolt enemy while i was waiting for the show to continue. about 2.30 p.m the show was continued by the performance of a surakarta metalcore band, Hysterica. after Hysterica, we got the other Surakarta hardcore, Quarrel Phase. and Starting Over. on 3 p.m, we got The Last Destination, an amreican style trash metal, reminds me to Lamb of God. then on 4.30 p.m, my band LVYWR played. covering 2 songs of TDWP and our brand new song called T!O!T!O!T! (special credit for Yoseph from Last Night Talking, for Last Night Talking, Incarnation of Stanley, energy Nuclear, Revolt Enemy and others). after that, a Muntilan progressive metalcore, Silenced Scream attacked the stage with their long political musics. a few times later, a Semarang metalcore, Tears in Disaster struck the stage with their mambo jumbo music that sounds like TDWP, with a cover song from TDWP called Hey John, What's Your Name Again. when the evening was getting high, a Christian Screamo band from Yogyakarta called Chamberlain performed. covering a few songs from Underoath's latest album Lost in sound of Separation, they impressed me, moreover with the song called Too Bright to See, Too Loud to Hear. the show was delayed for awhile to respect the moslem pray. the show began again on 6.15 p.m, and we got a deathcore band that i think sounly influenced by Bring Me the Horizon, called Mary Still Virgin. as soon as MSV left the stage, i was surprised by the comeback of a noisecore band, Rusak Berat, but unfortunately, this is a different band with the one that i used to see. but they're still playing brutally, covering the song from Dying Fetus. then, a muntilan glam metal god of scream blast the stage like a troll after taht. entering 7 p.m, my close friends from Last NightTalking performed. performing 2 trash songs nicely and a brilliant intro, the band got much attention from the audience. the show was continued by the performance of a We butter the bread with butter-ed band called Bella Loves Jenna, with their germany deathcore, and after that a electrocore band called A voice from gienna struck teh stage with their blast off electro metalcore. this far the show was AWESOME! but i had to go, leaving the stage. actually, there were some bands that hadn't played like Gargoyle, and Jakarta metal bands like Rest of the battle.

expectation: i hope a show like this will be held so often, and i'd love to perform on them.

SPIDEY!

who am i? i am spiderman :)

for more information about spidey, punch this:

spiderman on his official site

spiderman at wikipedia

spiderman at the comic book DB

spiderman at spiderfan




knowing spidey well! bouyaaaaaa

SONG TITLE (AGAIN!)

fyi, after listening to The Devil Wears Prada's Wapakalypse and Danger: Wildman too much, suddenly LVYWR found a way to treat the new song differently. eventually, LVYWR changed the composition of the song much, much different in flava and much different in treatment. the tone of the song becomes heavier and darker than before. the title of the song that once called "The Strawberry Aid" has been changed into "T!O!T!O!T!". that was my idea, i dunno why and i dunno how, that letters just flown into my brain suddenly (fyi, my brain has been corrupted for years by some video on the internet for sure :p). is is unique? or weird? it doesn't matter, i just want to have fun and my friends love too. however, i, myself, occasionally amaze with that song. the parts and the whole song is so levywar ;) okay, shorter story, listen to the song and wait until the lyrics set up, you will shout: WHATTAFAK! WHATA JUNK! and i am goin' to say: T!O!T!O!T! :D

NICE short message service

"suddenly feeling unwell when you don't send me any msgs :D"
July 21, 2010. 08:55

wow that's the finest text message i have ever had since the last 6 months. it seems like an ordinary text message, nothing sounds so special, except if you knew that this text message was sent so sudden by its sender. look! someone cares about me that much. if only you know who the sender is, you won't believe that this text message was sent to me.
and now i feel much better than ever, or maybe i am in heart storm. all i have now are smiles on my lips, only for you (the sender).

what's wrong with the word "KISS"?

this KISS isn't KISS, a phenomenal hard rock band from 70s era. this KISS isn't KISS, a title of a chatterbox infotainment programme on TV. this KISS isn't KISS, a lip shape on your tees. this KISS isn't KISS, a 2000s movie that paid me less. this KISS isn't KISS, a sign from Judas to abuse Jesus Christ.
this KISS is the KISS that i always give to you right before i sleep, the furthest trusted air kiss. this KISS is the KISS that you have written on your notes on your facebook, the suffering kiss for me. this KISS is the KISS that you have promised, to kiss me back if kiss you more and more. this KISS is the same KISS that i will give to you soon, when the time comes.

okay, enough about that kiss. now i am your daily routine, and so are you for me.

new (draft) songs!

LVYWR has written 3 more songs (after the first song called "Impuesto de Guerra"). those songs are mostly influenced by songs of The Devil Wears Prada's With Roots Above and Branches Below. the first of the 3 new songs is called "Te Estoy Viendo". the title of the song was quoted from MTV's world cup commercial breakdown about the hating hamster, Spooky, that means I am watching you. this song is prepared to be a nice opening song. the second song is called "The Strawberry Aid". the title is taken from a name of visualization in Windows Media Player. it has a long outro part, that will remind you to the old school Dance Gavin Dance's songs. the third song is a bilingual song called "Ada yang Salah dengan Membuat Cinta".
that's all about LVYWR's new songs. if there is any news, i will be informing you again ;)

living like UNDEROATH

It doesn't matter whether i am right or wrong? but i believe that this is my way to Him. I am not goin' to blame anyone for not believing any religion, it's okay, a hundred percent okay; But i just want to remind you, that good God does really exist, with all His glory and kindness. Believing in religion and its rules is a way to thank God for all that have been given to us by Him. I am a Christian, Catholic. Let's go to church dudos :D

next project: SEN

LEVYWAR is to play on this show, next Saturday, may 22.

this is a kind of reunion for us with our former high school. be there lads. LVYWR will be covering the songs from blessthefall and the devil wears prada, also rocking our new compulsory song "impuesto de guerra". let's pray for a great performance. amen. :D

the last 2 weeks of my freshmen year :)

Final tests: lasting for 2 weeks long (except on Fridays), starts from may 18 till may may 29.
my plan: doing all the final assignment before the due dates, studying, and praying.
further plan: taking a long holiday, at least 3 months without brainstorming.
further than further plan: saying hello to the sophomore year and the freshmen students, being a college student again
further than further than further plan: graduated.
ok, now i am gonna prepare myself to say goodbye :)

are you more difficult than mathematics?

L : "it was the most difficult math test i have ever done"
me: "wow" (shouting in the heart: "i hope you are not that difficult")
L : "pardon?"
me : "no, no, don't read my mind now"

are you giving me your caress now? perhaps.
well see you later :D

a glimpse of truth about me (sekilas tentang saya) :D

hey, suddenly i wanna tell you about me. idk why, i am perhaps a megalomaniac, but i am not a narcissistic :D well, actually you can know me better from my social networks account, but that's not fun. however, if you have time, feel please to know me hehe.

these are some truths about me:

i commit not to smoke cigarette, drink alcohol, use illegal drugs, and do free sex (i mean intercourse with no commitment).
i do singing in my current band Levywar, it's true i am singing.
i always listen to my lifetime idols such as Chiodos, Dance Gavin Dance, From First to Last and so on.
i was once thinking of being a contestant of Indonesian Idol, but my heart said "no", till now, i still dunno why.
don't gimme any objection if i talk about Manchester United, Inter Milan, and Barcelona.

i love to read about UFO or unexplained phenomena of the universe, try that :D
my friends used to give up playing when they were playing Winning eleven against me, but they used to...
i love using English because i am an English Education student, please know.

that's enough, i don't want to be claimed as a self-centered person, i do apology ya :D
thanks :)

(p.s: you can translate this post by using the google translate tool provided below)

VIOLA LION as made famous by Isles & Glaciers

I am a million pieces of the sky
I found a way to be alone
I'm gonna wait until you want me
Until you finally decide to go home

Diamond, diamond are you all in the sky?
I can't believe all of these beautiful lies
As they surround me I will take a photograph of the sky
Bury me, bury me
Come on, bury me alone in the light

I am, I'm gonna run this like a lion
Another way to be alone
And I will wait until you find me
Until you finally decide to go home

(Don't go home! Don't go home!)

Diamond, diamond are you all in the sky?
I can't believe all of these beautiful lies
As they surround me I will take a photograph of the sky
Bury me, bury me
Come on, bury me alone in the light

I've never had a reason to take me away, yeah
I want it to be over
But I sit here and wait

I saw her smiling from the top of the world
I saw her sleeping on, amazing I know
If you lower, lower, lower me down
You lower me clearly, so come and lower me

Diamonds, diamonds are you all in the sky?
I can't believe all of these beautiful lies
As they surround me I will take a photograph of the sky
Bury me, bury me

Diamond, diamond are you all in the sky?
I can't believe all of these beautiful lies
As they surround me I will take a photograph of the sky
Bury me, bury me
Bury me, bury me



guess what does it refers to?

An Opening is A Beginning, Isn't It?

Since now and then, I will be writing all I want to write on this blog. This blog is not about diary or accusation or explanation or anything it called. I just want to share it with you. Yes, with you. Someday, I will bring you the universe, so please be ready :)

regards,

Paskalis Damar